Twenty eight questions to ask strangers
I am obsessed with questions.
Particularly, questions that come from a place of curiosity and sincerity; the ones that are not this:
Hi, how are you?
Great!* And you?
Great!**
When we put effort into the questions we ask and answers we share, we gain the power to form connections and build understanding. To challenge our unconscious biases and make us fall in love.
My obsession with asking questions has, over time, morphed into collecting them.
From the rhetorical:
What if I’m right?
To ones that surface internal dilemmas:
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
To questions that invite vulnerability:
What is your biggest fear?
No matter the question, each one I’ve collected implies connection between people.
Earlier this year, I had the chance to explore the connection of strangers through the use of 28 of these questions.
As just one part of a larger immersive experience (Sonder), I joined a handful of friends in bringing together 200 strangers across communities in the hopes of making space for real connection.
If you’re familiar with my story of coming to California, you know that I showed up here without any friends.
Shitty, right?
It was only once I opened myself to questions, and genuinely answered those questions, did I begin connecting with others in meaningful ways.
One of the first questions that opened me to a lasting friendship was:
What is your biggest fear?
By answering this honestly and with a healthy dose of vulnerability, I formed a connection with a lifelong friend who would take me from San Francisco, all over Colombia, and back. If I had answered “public speaking” things would have ended very differently.
At this point, you’re probably wondering:
What the fuck am I reading, Josh?
Well, this is mostly me finishing a blog with a glass of wine. But more importantly, it’s an ask for you to connect with someone you don’t know. That one person you see on a semi-regular basis, but never talk to for more than a minute. Offering to buy lunch for the friend-of-a-friend that seems cool enough. Saying hi to the people you see every morning on your commute.
As humans, we crave connection. Introverts and extroverts alike, only exist because of connection. Make the most of the ones you’re finding.
Not sure where to start? Download these Opia cards, to print, and share with your friends. Maybe start here, with one of my favorites:
Reading: Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
Listening: français playlist on Spotify
Watching: The Great British Baking Show on Netflix
*Fucking terrible, but can’t tell you that.
** I’m a bit lonely but don’t have anyone to talk to.
