I saw the picture you posted on Instagram — do you have a boyfriend?

Anyone who has gone through the process of coming out knows (or soon finds out) that you never do it just once.

When I came out to my family, I had just ended my first relationship with a man — a feeling that was both terrifying and exciting. While I had come out to most of my friends in San Francisco, I had decided it was unfair to be with another person who was hidden from my family.

So, I booked a flight home with the intent of saying two words: I’m gay.

There are few moments in my life I remember as vividly as that one. How I sweat through my shirt. The subtleties of reactions from each member of my family. The incredible feeling of relief to share with them a part of me that had been hidden for most of my life.

Since that afternoon, I’ve come out countless times. Each memorable in a different way.

• At a work related event, correcting someone who told me my ‘girlfriend’ was a lucky one.
• Through Venmo, after two friends noticed I was sending payments with some combination of 👬👨‍❤️‍👨🍷💕🍆🍑.
• Via Tinder, when an acquaintance told a mutual friend, “I didn’t know Josh was gay”. (she didn’t, either)
• Through Instagram, verbatim with the text message…